Where is the Beauty in this?

Well, it has been a long time since I have written anything here. Where do I even begin? It has been a rollercoaster of a month for me.

Literally, a week after my grandpa passed away so did my grandma. I flew home that weekend to be with family and attend services. Then flew back to Asheville to work. And since then, my life has been consumed with teaching (which has been just a heck of a ride as well). And then last week my life started to slow down a little bit... And when I thought I was great, BAM. Grief hit me. Hard.

I was listening to messages because someone had called me and left a message, but of course to do that I had to listen to old messages and perhaps delete a few. That's when I heard the sweet, sweet voice of my grandma Rea on the other end of the telephone. And boom. The tears came and came steadily.

So this week has been hard. My heart has been breaking. And questions are rising to the surface. Like, If disease is not from God and He turns these bad things into good, what is the good? Show my the beauty! Show me how this became a good thing? Because right now, it feels like an awful bad thing. I don't see the redemption, the restoration.

I just miss my Grandma.

Above all, He is Sovereign

Last night my Grandpa Rea passed on to be with our Heavenly Father for Eternity. I am so thankful that he is home, at peace, and his body and mind is completely restored. There are so many fun memories I have of my grandpa. (Many of them include my cousins and how ridiculous we were). And to be honest, I am looking forward to being home with my family and strolling down memory lane. There are sure to be lots of laughs!

But, this past week my family also learned that my Grandma Rea has been diagnosed with acute lukemia. This in itself was devastating. My grandma went to the hospital feeling sick the day after Christmas. We were all very concerned and unsure about where this "sickness" came from. So multiple tests later we discover its lukemia. And then we have to wait for MORE tests to decide what the treatment plan is. And stunningly enough, there is not much that "they" can do for her due to her age, etc. And the prognosis doesn't look good, so to speak.

It's almost to much to even believe. My sweet, sweet mother (and aunts and uncle) lose their father in the same week they learn their mother is terminally ill. Insane. Rub your eyes, and make sure it's not a dream, insane. But this is real. It is really happening.

So the other day as I was talking (well more like fighting) this over with God, he told me a few things. Deep in my spirit, something changed. 1- God reminded me that disease is not OF God. Disease is a worldly thing, and He is not of this world. BUT, he will take any thing of this world and turn into beauty. He will restore disease. And it shocked me, because so many times we plead with God, "Why why why did you do this" And In my doing so, he simply replied "I am not a giver of disease and death, but a giver of life"

Today I am choosing to believe that God is who He says He is. He is the God of the Bible. So I am putting these truths into action, by choosing to Believe. Amidst the pain and sadness. I will believe. He is Healer, Redeemer, Giver of Life, Love.

Choose with me today to believe as well.

The Real World

Okay. How cool is this.

My brother, Nate, plays bass in this really awesome band called Phantods. And last night, one of their incredible songs was played on the season premiere of "The Real World". Which, well that show is gross- but stillllll... REALITY T.V. got a taste of their music.

I am proud. And I insist that you check them out.

www.phantods.com

boom.

Switchfoot, and so much more.

Last night I was lucky enough to go see Switchfoot in concert at the Orange Peel. Let me first say that I was literally blown away by their stage presence and ability to involve the audience. I went to the concert knowing that I enjoyed their music, sure I had listened to them from time to time. But I left that night as a fan.

It is hard to say what exactly sets them apart. But without saying too many words, they had me leaving feeling completely inspired, doing real soul-searching. And over the past 12 + hours my heart has been bursting from the seams.

I want more from life.
I want to do more.
I want to be more.

I hate waking up and feeling like life is simply flying by, and I am just on the outside watching the train cruise by. I want to be right next to the driver, every day, every hour, every minute.

So I am not sure what this means for me, right now in this moment. But I am grateful to Switchfoot for their authentic lyrics and their ability to foster an awakening once again in my soul.

Thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njdTYj8nEQ4&feature=related

My portion is running over!

My heart is so full of joy and contentment in God. I honestly don't even know where to begin in describing how GOOD our God is! Let me begin by just sharing that I am about to graduate college. And over the past few months I have felt the Holy Spirit calling me to remain. To remain in the church. To remain in Asheville. To Remain.

You can imagine how frightening this could be as a young person, about to take on finances all on her own, and about to enter the dreaded "real-world". But with a dream and conviction in my heart, I said "Okay, Lord. I will Remain." And from that day on, I BELIEVED with every fiber inside of me that God was going to provide. At first I would just say to myself, "He will provide" And I partly didn't even know to what extent... or how it would look. Then as time progressed, I began believing and SPEAKING OUT LOUD, "He will provide a job for me in this city"

During my student teaching experience, I came across many people who would casually express to me their sorrow/regret/sympathy in the fact that a) I am graduating and would be searching for a teaching position mid-year (MID YEAR folks!) and b) that this economy would not prove to deliver a job for me.

And you know what my response was, EVERY single time?!?

"I am Believing that He will open up doors for me." I began reading about Abraham, the father of our faith. And do you know what the word says about Abraham? That his righteousness was credited to him by BELIEVING!! That he understood the power of God enough to understand that our God is a God who brings LIFE to the dead. And so with everything inside of me, I believed.

Well about 2 weeks ago I just sat before the Lord. And in my time I thought, what the heck. I'm going to pray Big. So I said, "Lord, I am asking you to Bless me! Show your favor for me!" And what would you know, the next day TWO jobs opened up in Buncombe County! So I applied- sent resumes- got an interview- and got hired! ALL within a two week process.

This is all God! He is SO faithful. All of the Glory is His. And I believe more than ever in the power of speaking Truth over your life, and believing God's word! It's real. It's living.

And as I sit here and reflect over the past year of my life... Last Christmas, I asked God to set me free. And He has taken my world and flipped it upside down. Literally. It is completely transformed. And it did not, by any means, happen over night. But I am a totally new person, and God is setting the Dream that HE placed in my heart into motion. And I am utterly thankful. Forever.

"I'll make a covenant with them that will last forever, a covenant to stick with them no matter what, and work for their good. I'll fill their hearts with a deep respect for me so they'll not even think of turning away from me. Oh how I'll REJOICE in them! Oh how I'll delight in doing good thins for them! Heart and soul, I'll plant them in this country and keep them here!" Jer 32:40-41

Tis the Season

Okay- So I am getting excited for Christmas! Today I just randomly started singing Christmas songs... And it put me in the BEST mood!

Things I LOVE about Christmas

1) My family does Christmas BEST- I love my siblings and when we all get around the kitchen counter, there ain't nothing in the world like it.

2) Homemade cinnamon rolls. Family Recipe. Perfection.

3) Music for 2 months to put you in a cheery mood!

4) Decorating!!

5) Hot cocoa, a fireplace, AND "A White Christmas" (my own personal tradition- I HAVE to watch it every year- even if I am doing it solo- which is usually how it happens)

Nerd Alert? Yes... Yes, I think so.

Yes. It indeed has been a while since I have updated this thingamajigger. But for good reason, you see. I have been swamped with finishing student teaching, cramming for a praxis exam (which I take in 2 weeks by the way! ahh!), writing a research paper, AND attempting to apply for teaching positions. But wait- the madness doesn't stop there.

You may be asking yourself, "But how could it get any crazier, my dear friend Katie?"
And I will tell you, on Friday I woke up so early- I'm talking crazy folk may go to bed at the hour in which I awoke from my sleep yesterday. And why did I do this? So that I could drive to Greensboro to attend the North Carolina's Council of Teachers of Mathematics conference!!

YIPEE! It was splendid! I learned so much about teaching and math, I was like a little kid in a candy store. AND... I also got to share MY experiences of student teaching with other soon to be math educators. It was an honor. And I received many encouraging words/words of wisdom about the life calling of education.

It is just that- a life calling. So yesterday was a treat for me, because I once again was reminded of the joy that goes along with the journey of teaching! It is my passion. It is in my gut. And I LOVE what I am doing!!

Yes- you may think I am a nerdball for attending a math conference. But who cares? It's me! :)

(Oh and then I got to the awesome day in prayer and worship with some of my favorite people ever. Yes, I'm spoiled.)